Friday, October 13, 2017

2-Year Reflections!

Today marks the 2-year anniversary of the successful completion of my pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostella across the Camino Frances.  When I completed my journey I was asked several times if I would write a reflection at some point, today seems the perfect time.  As I sit and reflect on the transformation my journey has had on me, my mind starts to spin as I still am trying to wrap my head around everything.
With my daughter Lee...  Kinda her fault all this started.
This journey all started in the summer of 2011 when I heard the first whisperings of "Camino de Santiago" uttered during an orientation program for my Daughter Lee as she was considering a prospective college.  The concept of a hike that could take months to walk (as they left from Paris) across France and Spain just wouldn't shake from my head and if anything slowly grew.  Months later, purely by chance, Tina and I happened to watch the movie (that movie) "The Way" and the dots started being connected.  By the following morning the committment to walk it was born and unlike other smaller tasks, this one did not die from neglect but grew deep (deep) roots and the thought soon became a plan and the plan a committment.

In fairness, there are many times in my life I have desired something, but for a multitide of reasons the seeds never grew and the ideas died...  I never had blasted off into outer space in a spaceship....  But THIS seed...  THIS seed wouldn't be neglected and as that idea grew the calling started and with this idea having grown from the summer of 2011 till I started actually walking the Camino Frances on September 5, 2015, that calling became an outright shouting borderline on a screaming!

As I planned for my journey, I joined a gym weighing in at a heafty 270 pounds (122.4 kg) and much to my surprise I stuck with the gym, loyally!  In 2 1/2 years of prepping I managed to lose a grand-total of 10lbs (4.5 kg), not a lot by any means, but what I did gain was muscle strength and endurance which I was so going to need.  As the departure neared, I started working heavy with my pack and working on endurance, hiking mountains I never thought I could do and walking distances I never thought I could in my shape at the time, but the proof was there at the end of the day with each increasingly challenging hike completed and new friends made as a bonus.
First mountain conquered solo.
Now, it is said that the pilgrimage starts when you commit to the journey, so my pilgrimage started in January 2012, but the actual pilgrimage journey to Santiago de Compostella started on September 3rd, 2015.  That day was one of the most emotionally challenging days of my life, I was leaving everything in my life that gives me comfort and safety to travel solo for the next 49 days to countries I have never been to and languages I could barely read, nevermind speak.  I sat in the international terminal at Logan Airport, just sitting there wondering what the hell I was doing and thinking that it would not be unreasonable to not go...  Going was madness, if I stayed I'd be knocking some sense into myself...  Yeah, I kept saying that even as I boarded the plane for Spain.
Well, committed now.  No turning back.
The Pilgrimage across Spain is well documented in this blog and does not warrant repeating, suffice it to say challenges were thrown at me, accepted, and overcome.  I met wonderful people, made a Camino Family who are still very much part of my life and very important to me.  I learned what is really important to me and what is not.  I learned who I am.
Oh Yeah, I owned it.
October 13, 2015 after 39 days of walking and 500 miles (800km) across the Pyrenees and northern Spain the cumulation of my journey to Santiago de Compostella completed.  As I walked into the courtyard which marked the final destination of my pilgrimage 4+ years of emotional buildup exploded out in a burst of joy and excitement!  My pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostella was complete, the journey I had though beyond my abilities 4 years earlier I had not only embraced and comquered, but owned.  I was still the same ol' Kevin as I was before....  But I wasn't the same Kevin...  I finished with confidence and determination.  I had learned to be humble but at the same time proud of my accomplishment.
Getting my compostella - Proof of the journey.
I had earned the name "Destroyer", not only for the multitude of BaƱos destroyed but for destroying my own inhibitions and destroying stereotypes...  I had destroyed the old Kevin and rebuilt myself the same but improved.  Yeah, there was the physical changes, I had dropped to 225lbs (102 kg) and my muscle tone was at a peak, but my mind had changed even more.  Walking for so long gives you time to think, I mean REALLY think, and one of the major conclusions I came to was I really enjoyed the company of people and when I returned I wanted to continue to be socially open and engaging with people.

The journey, 500 miles, which had a few weeks prior seemed such a large undertaking, was now easy and do-able.  Not that the entire journey was a cake-walk, there was plenty of challenges, but by taking it it pieces one day at a time, I conquered the challenges and persevered.  If I could walk 500 miles solo across a foreign country without the safety and comfort of home, I could conquer so much more.

So this brings me to today:
I have gained a whopping 2lbs (>1 kg) since returning.  I still go to the gym loyally and have increased the intensity of my workouts to not only keep myself in shape, but to push my fitness higher.  I continue to try to look at obstacles as challenges that just need to be overcome.  I still do computer support, but not really...  I now support people who are experiencing technical issues.  I have journied with Tina to Italy and felt comfortable walking around outside of the tourist zones and engaging the locals.  My love and committment to my family is as strong or even stronger than before.  In short, my inner-pilgrim lives strong and keeps guiding me in life...  I might not be walking the pilgrimage, but my journey is for life.
Keeping the pilgrim in me alive in Quebec City.
Keeping the best for last, the multitude of thanks that goes out to everyone who supported me on my journey.  The top of the list, my wife Tina who, while not understanding, still supported my journey and was there every day back home sending me love and support.  My daughters Lee and Jasmin who likewise supported me and helped support Tina back at home.  My mother, brothers, and sisters with a special shout-out to my brother Kelly who kept sending encouraging posts along my journey.  My in-laws who likewise supported my journey and talked to me on the phone a few times keeping the encouragement going.  My supervisor Matt, manager Fred, and my companie's HR team who all supported and made my journey possible.  My former co-worker Arne who was ever so instrumental in helping me plan and ready for the physical journey.  My co-workers left behind who had to pick-up the slack (OK, Ray got out of it, but getting rear-ended in a car is not really a desirable means of getting out of it - Thankfully, he is OK and doing well and back to work).  There were former peregrinos I met while training state side, of the most notable are Ross and Kathleen Fields who helped me train and provided daily encouragement.
While I was in Spain I formed a Camino Family who were my immediate supports and provided the necessary encouargement to not only keep me going but helped me grow as a person.  Ray Gibbs was cheering me on as I walked into Roncesvalles after conquering the Pyrenees - we walked as family from then on.  Nancy Earl joined the family and became our spiritual advisor about 10 days in - she also walked as family from then on.  Also along the way my Camino kept colliding with Alabama (Melanie Causey), my Camino Sister - we never walked, but we always seems to bump into each other - we destroyed Leon!...  And Santiago!...  And Finisterre!!!...  Then there is the multitude of pilgrims in the extended Camino Family that traverse the glove.  Ed and Pat from Florida, we walked the Pyrenees, the sheep were scared.  Tom and Gwen from California, translators and helpers of the down.  Marge and Bella from Australia, kept me sane while I was separated from Ray and Nancy.  Sue, Susan, and Beth, the trio that just wouldn't stop and provided encouragement to the rest of the family.  Tim and Lexy from Massachusettes who were also there supporting me (Lexy thought the whoo-hooing was cool!).  Charlton Slack from Wales teaching me to say "Well, that's fare" when life hands you a curve-ball.  The list goes on and on, people in New Zeland, Australie, Canada, South Korea, Germany, England, and all over the US, all supporting each other!
Worth menting again, if it wasn't for Tina, Lee, and Jasmin for their support, all the other support in the world wouldn't have mattered :).

Ultreia!